Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Losing weight, Keto style

So you want to lose weight? Come closer, no, closer. I'm serious, place your ear 2 inches from my mouth.
"let me help you"
Now that I've violated your personal space, lets get this thing started.

Losing weight can be a daunting task, that's because it is a pretty damn daunting task. You'll need motivation, you'll need willpower, but most of all you'll need to want it. If you are struggling with your weight right now, you'll need to want it more than anything you've ever wanted in your life, or close to it. You can trust me, I was clinically obese for the longest time and I knew it. Then I found this diet and dropped 65 pounds in 6 months, I still have 20 pounds to go and I'm not stopping till I hit ab city baby. If a former fat guy like me can do it, anyone reading this can. I believe in you.

Here are some of my progress pictures:


Let me tell you right now, keto is one badass diet (and it sounds like some sort of underground kung fu). It focuses on 2 things: low carb intake and ketosis. While on this diet, you will be limiting yourself to no more than 20g-30g of carbs a day. This makes your liver produce "ketones", which puts your body in a state of "ketosis" - a state that makes your body burn fat instead of glucose for fuel. This is the secret of keto. You see normally when you eat things like rice, bread, pasta, or other foods high in carbs they are stored for later use as glucose. If this glucose isn't used up, it is stored as fat. This is how a lot of people get fat. This is how I got fat (ate peanut butter jelly sandwiches on the regular though).

Another great benefit of keto is the kinds of food you eat. Often, some people will wonder if you are even on diet because you will be eating lots of meat and cheese. As a former fatty, this is my favorite part of the diet, the food.


Keto is a typically higher protein and fat diet, with little to no carbohydrates. So you'll be eating a lot of great food, here is a quick list:

- SAUSAGE (low carb sausage)

There are others, but those are just my favorites. If you want a more extensive list, here you go.


"Net carbs" is a concept you really need to know, so pay attention! When looking at the nutritional information of things, you need to zero in on the "Total Carbohydrate" amount and the "Dietary Fiber amount". "Net Carbs" is the result of subtracting "Dietary Fiber", from the "Total Carbohydrate".
Total Carbohydrate - Dietary Fiber = Net Carbs
 The reason you do this is because dietary fiber doesn't get stored as glucose or effect blood sugar, it passes through the body to help with digestion and shouldn't be counted nutritionally. Let's now look at an example:
mmm, broccoli
Lets examine this, total carbohydrate count is 8g, dietary fiber is 5g. 8g - 5g = 3g. So the total "Net Carb" of this serving is 3g! When limiting yourself to 20g-30g carbs a day, you are actually limiting yourself to 20g-30g  "Net Carbs" a day. From now on, when I say "carbs", I mean "Net Carbs" - that's how you should see it from now on. REMEMBER!


STEP 1: Click on this link and enter your information. Read it thoroughly. I will stand by this calculator any day, I followed it religiously for the past 6 months and it helped me get the weight off. You will need all the information provided in step 7 in the link I gave. (Daily caloric intake, carbohydrates, protein, fat). These will be your daily needs. Here are my current needs:

Daily Caloric Intake: 1,800
Protein: 133g
Fat: 132g
Carbohydrates: 20g

As you lose weight, your daily needs will change because your body is changing. You should go back to the keto calculator and update your weight\body fat% to get your new needs, so you can update your diet accordingly. It saves all your other information!

It even provides a little graph that estimates your weight loss for the next few months, it predicted mine exactly. Here is my current graph:
Ooo 10% by October. I'll cosplay as someone sexy

STEP 2: Form a daily diet around those daily needs you just calculated out. You don't have to hit it exactly, but you should try to be close. Here is my current diet:

The shake in the middle is delicious btw
As you can see I'm not hitting it exactly, but I'm pretty damn close so that's what matters. I've been around this accurate for the past couple of months so you should be fine.

Remember, as you lose weight, your daily needs will change because your body is changing. You should go back to the keto calculator and update your weight\body fat% to get your new needs, so you can update your diet accordingly. It saves all your other information!

STEP 3 (Optional): Get yourself a workout plan, I recommend lifting weights, for both male and females. I say this is optional, but you should seriously workout. It helps with loose skin, and tones down your body  so that the end result is even sexier. You don't want to be "skinnyfat" at the end of your diet - working out will help with this. 

Lifting weights and adding some cardio is my recommendation for a workout plan. A lot of you girls out there are scared to lift weights because you think you will look like a man. You are wrong. Lifting weights is great for both sexes, you just have to find the right one. Look for strength training tailored to woman (more high rep, less heavy weights), and if you are a man that wants to bulk up look for muscle building workouts. Lifting weights helps build up lean body muscle, which will burn calories even while you sleep (cardio doesn't do this).

Here is a workout I followed for the first 3-4 months, before branching out into my own thing. I replaced wednesday with a 20 minute cardio session, I add 1-2 minutes of cardio every day, and I do 2 ab workouts every workout day. 

Anything high in carbs. This includes:

- CARROTS (I know right?)

Yeah it's depressing, but believe me it's worth it. Plus look at my diet plan, does my food look bad?


Sugar: use "Stevia". It's a natural plant that has been used to sweeten things for centuries. It has no carbs, doesn't effect blood sugar, and doesn't promote tooth decay. That and it's twice as sweet as sugar, without a weird aftertaste. WHY DON'T MORE PEOPLE USE THIS?! evil sugar companies, that's why. 

I use a brand called "Stevia in the raw", which I affectionately call "Steve".

mmm, Steve

Creamer: use Heavy Cream. You coffee drinkers and your creamer, get on that heavy cream. It's delicious and has little to no carbs in it. It's full of delicious and nutritious fat, which you need on this diet.

Flour: use Almond Flour. This stuff is amazing, I've used it to make the crust of a low carb cheesecake (which tastes amazing btw). It's great for keto pancakes, keto pizza crusts, etc. 

You know you want some on your face, recipe here


If you are like me, you'll need some motivation to stay the course. Sometimes the prospect of losing weight isn't enough, so you might need to do certain things to get yourself psyched up. Things that will make you want to kick your fat's ass. Things that will make you want to say, FUCK YOU FAT, YOU DON'T OWN ME ANYMORE. Just don't say that out loud in the gym or grocery store. Here are some of the things I did:

Wall of quotes: Every month I have a quote that I tape onto my wall. Whenever I am feeling weak, lazy, hungry, etc. I say the quote of the month to myself out loud . Cheesy? Yes. Effective? It was for me!

Symbolic Bracelet: I saw a cool looking bracelet that had some nice symbolism, an anchor bracelet. I made one and now I wear it every day because the anchor represents my weight. Now I wear it as a badge of honor and not of shame. Damn that was cheesy

This might not be for everyone, it might make you feel silly. I think everyone should at least give it a try, it really helped me stay motivated and focused. Plus now I'm one of those cool guys with a bracelet! Those guys are cool right? Right?


So here we are, at the end. I can tell you from experience that this diet will be hard for the first week or 2. But I promise you, by the end of the first month things will be a lot easier. You'll get cravings every now and then, but you'll look back at the weight you lost and you'll know that getting off track isn't worth it. Once you get into the swing of things you'll feel sexy, you'll love what you see in the mirror, and who deserves that? You do, you sexy, sexy beast. The weight will come crashing down like a righteous avalanche - you being the person who shouted at the top of the mountain. If you need any help at all, just email me at Sladeakakevin@Gmail.com for extra tips, for questions on certain foods, workouts, or if you want someone to talk to about the diet. Things will get tough my friend, but I know you have the strength to persevere. When things get hard just remember to...